Mad Gastronomer

Story of my life: I debated whether or not to share this story.

justyyisme:

madgastronomer:

justyyisme:

madgastronomer:

justyyisme:

unwinona:

And then I debated whether or not to put it on Tumblr…but I decided it was important. Because in my own way, I can (unfortunately) point out exactly what is wrong with men when they don’t realize how hard it is to be a woman. How we do not have equal opportunities and freedoms in…

This kinda pissed me off. I live in LA and have been taking the metro since I was in 2nd grade. I’m now in my 3rd year of college. Yes men have invaded my personal space. Yes. It is annoying. But I’ve learned you never know what someone is going through. You can’t just be a bitch because you’re a “pretty girl” who just wants to read a book. Some men do actually just want to have a chat with a pretty girl.. Not all men want to rape you.. Don’t take the bus with a million other commuters.. (more than half men) if you don’t want to be spoken to.. Old peoplr are just as annoying but you don’t go into paralyzingly fear when they approach…

It’s precisely BECAUSE we never know what’s going on with someone that we MUST be so careful. No, not everyone is a rapist. But ANYONE might be. If she hadn’t said to leave her alone then, but had told him what she was reading, but then wouldn’t talk to him further, that guy would still have freaked out. He would have freaked out at WHATEVER point she told him no — and if she’d been “nice” and talked to himwhen she didn’t want to, and then said no when he wanted to, say, walk her home, or walk into her house with her, then what? Because a man who will ignore a woman when she says no, she doesn’t want to talk to him is a lot more likely to ignore a woman when she says no, she doesn’t want to have sex with him.

No one owes their time or attention to anyone. When you insist that a woman should allow a man to take up her time and attention even when she doesn’t want to, you are being a part of rape culture, and a part of the problem. It’s misogynist as fuck. Stop it.

You don’t know him. You don’t know if he would of still freaked out. She could of simply said, “I’ve had a long day and i don’t want to be bothered”. Instead of bitch facing and telling him to leave her alone as if he had already done something.. I’m surely apart of no ones “rape culture”.. So I have no clue what the fuck you’re saying. No you dont HAVE to talk to a man because he is talking to you but there is a way to say things to PEOPLE, him being a man is no fucking excuse, he was still a person. If he wanted to knock her upside the head and rape her or be in anyway inappropriate he didn’t have to ask what she was reading he could of simply done it. 

I don’t need to know him. His response was an absolutely classic entitled response. He thought he was entitled to her time and attention, and when she wouldn’t give it to him, he reacted badly.

Rape culture is all of the ideas and attitudes in a culture that contribute to rape being tolerated. Your words arepreciselyone of those things, so you are absolutely a part of rape culture. The fact that you don’t know what I’m talking about is yet another indicator that you are regularly participating in rape culture. Go educate yourself.

And it’s not being a “bitch” to refuse to give your time and attention to someone when you don’t want to. Victim blaming’s a pretty fucking awful thing to do, and that’s just what you’re doing by saying that that man’s response is his victim’s fault. It’s no one’s but his own.

….i said bitch facing. I didnt call her a bitch. I didnt say I didnt know what rape culture was I said i didnt know why you were implying that I was apart of it. Selective reading. Selective understanding. I haven’t blamed her, I havent blamed anyone.. I’m not saying his behaviour was okay. I said that there is a way to speak to people. Who cares if he is a man.. His reaction was classic entitled response? Who are you to say what classic is. Who’s to say if it was a guy reading a book he wouldnt have asked.. who’s to say if the guy reacted in the same manner he wouldnt have still reacted the same… YOU DONT KNOW. 

Selective reading yourself.You are still being a part of the problem.She refused to give him her time and attention, andyou are fucking focusing on thatinstead of talking about what’s actually wrong here. You’re too busy telling her how she should act to talk about the real problem, which is his behavior. This very much contributing to rape culture in an entirely classic fashion, and if you don’t fucking understand that, then you need to educate yourself. Talking about what the victim should have done instead is part of victim-blaming.

And, actually, because I have fucking educated myself, I know what the fuck a classic entitled response is and that was it.Go do your homework if you want to talk about these topics.

(via justyyisme-deactivated20121218)